mental game issues...

[blistershurt]

Well. For the most part I am good at blocking noises out and rowdy teams (really dont mind, i think its funny when the teams get all fired up)

I have a huge problem. I get angry and I let it effect the way I bowl. Now, when I get angry its for one of two reasons.

1) I mess up, know the problem and fail to fix it.

or

2) Someone behind the lane (usually a parent) thinks that they know everything so they start to tell me I am doing something wrong, that I know is not wrong. (Usually it really gets to me when I fix the problem that I know of on my own and the person sits there and praises themselves for thinking they fixed it)
Example of #2: Today I shot a 580, usually I'd be pretty happy, decent series and all. But I shot 167, 247, 166. The middle game was me in the zone, fixing all of my problems from game 1, and no one bothering me about the way I bowl. Then, right when game 2 ended (7 in a row to end it) my friend's dad showed up. Normally, I'm fine with him. But today (like last week) after I pulled a shot he started nagging me between every shot telling me not to drop my shoulder (which I always do, making up for my bad knee, giving some much needed leverage), and saying I pull the ball because of it. But I knew that it was from my feet being too fast. So I started off with 4 straight 9 spares. Then, I came up, and my feet got WAY too fast and I pulled the ball into the 7-8-4. That's when he started to really get louder about it, so I knew what I did wrong, but my friend's dad kept nagged at me. I waited a few extra seconds before my spare shot, trying to keep calm and not let him get to me. Talked to myself for a little calming myself down and trying to focus on the spare shot. Well. I pulled the ball again. Not as much, but enough to go brooklyn on the shot and miss the spare. Then he really got to me because I sat down as close to the lane as you can get to calm myself down and give myself time to think, and my friend's dad went out of his way to come up to me and tell me that I dropped my shoulder again (can we say happy feet?). That actually got to me and I let it effect the rest of my game.

So, does anyone have any tips on tuning out people who will give extremely unwanted (or in this case, wrong) advise?

(I really dont feel like going into the dropping the shoulder thing, it pulls the ball for some, but not for others, look at Pete Weber, dropping the shoulder and winning big money.)

[Sin City Hammer]

My opinion would be to talk to the dad on a day when your not bowling and talk to him about how you have to bowl that way to make up for the leg problems you been having etc., and that his constant nagging is not only effecting your game but the team itself since it keeps you from doing the best that you can.

If that doesn't work and he continues with it, then either have your friend tell his dad to shut up and let you bowl your game your way, or oyu have to develop a very thick shell and not let what he says everytime get to you, and let it just roll off you.

I had almost the same problem in my summer league, and after first talking to them it stopped for a few weeks then when they tried to restart it up again I reminded them nicely the first time before telling them to shut the hell up loudly the next time. Afterwards they didn't say anything to me about it.

Hopefully, you can get them to see your point in the first talk to them, and don't have to go the loudly route like I did in order to get them to be quite.

[agroves]

I work with a coach about once a week, mostly just to keep everything in check. A few weeks back, I was in practicing and some guy that I don't even know starts talking to me about this and that. I politely said, "thanks, but I don't need your help". After that, I'm an a-hole, so I'd just tell them to leave me alone....but thats me.


BTW, your pulled shots, caused by fast feet ya say? Probably, but why are your feet fast? Alot of times it is an overextended pushaway, get the ball in to the swing late and everything goes faster to catch up.

I'll go away now.

[blistershurt]

My feet got faster (sort of) because as I throw harder I move back on the approach to make up for my arm cycle becoming longer. And on that particular frame, I did not move my usual 2 inches back from the front dots, and I got there steps ahead of my ball.


If you need I'll get a video up...my arm swing is completely dependent on where I start the push away from.


Also, alot of times I'll not be able to calm myself down, and I'll get over excited, and the feet go faster, but nothing else does. (I started to get a little upset about missing my mark...not big, I was picking spares up til that point.)

[Young300]

When you get onto the approach, stop thinking. Think about what you need to do off of the approach, but once your foot hits the approach drop everything from your head. Don't let what he said about your shoulder bother you, just get back into your mindset and let yourself get settled. When something goes wrong, don't rush yourself to fix it. Think about it, and get it done. If your feet were fast, then it could have been something right from the start on your push-away. If that doesn't fix it, then just push yourself up on the approach so it makes you slow your feet down.

[MorganGrafixx]

If it is legal with whichever league/house you are bowling in, I would suggest an iPod or similar music device with headphones. Number one, you get to bowl to something that you actually like. You can't control what noise is going on around you, but you can control what is playing on your MP3 player. Number two, if you have the headphones on, you will be able to ignore the concession stand coaches. They probably won't bother talking to you anyways if they see that you wouldn't be able to hear what they are saying in the first place. Last but not least, if you have some music that really puts you in the zone and has a beat consistent with your approach/swing rhythm, it might be able to calm those quick feet.

[Rowdy]

iPod/headphones are just plain rude. Plus if you're rolling against me,it tells me that you CAN be got to. I'm gonna do everything I can just to get you to take one of them things out of your head so I can impart some wisdom about your ball/line/swing. Anything to get to you. Why advertise? I may even get "fast feet" getting on the approach. Something in your peripheral vision. You're advertising,don't bitch if someone else is smart enough to take advantge of it.

Your friends Dad? You don't have any "friends" out there. The Old Man see's you as a threat to HIS kid. He knows you have "ears". In baseball this would be called "dugout chatter". Turn around and point HIS kid out to him. Tell the Dad to worry about his own kid while you wax his ass. If he keeps on yappin' have him tossed under Rule 17b. That'll shut him up.

[uberamd]

I would probably get annoyed if someone was wearing headphones when bowling with me. A great part about the mens league I am in is the talking, getting to talk to the other team, make some friends, congratulate people when they do good, etc. I really get annoyed by people who act like their life hinges on their bowling game, when they are not good.

Sure, if you had a 230 average, I would understand wanting to block people out. But in my league (we have had some 290's this season, someone got a 300, etc so its not a bad league) people talk, get to know eachother, and have fun WHILE being competitive. Heck, people on my team heckle me more than anyone! If I screw up, they are the FIRST ones to laugh at me and poke fun. I laugh and let it go. Also, when people critique me, I take it as a complement, because I KNOW I am not the best, and will take any advice I can.

Basically what I am getting it, as for me anyway talking, taking crap from people, etc is just part of the experience. A strong bowler can block that out. I have taken crap from people about sports (golf, basketball, football, bowling) all my life. Just be strong and work through it, don't drown people out and isolate yourself with headphones.

[Rowdy]

How you should react to people depends on the league you're rolling in. Some leagues are full of people just wanting to socialize and have fun. Not a league to start fist pumping and running out strikes in. The leagues where all the house studs come out to play in are the ones where you tune everyone out and have to become cutthroat. Everything is fair game here. Headphones? Never.

[GOOSE]

Dont let this one person think that just because they know you,that they get to tell you how to bowl YOUR game.If it bothered me THAT much i'd have a word in private and tell them as plainly as i could to let me be.Otherwise your gonna hear it all season and by the way you explained it,it messes with your concentration.Let him take what ever you say as he wants,at least hopefully he'll be off your back.
On that note.....i would practice blocking out distractions when you get to go out and practice.Some ways i know of are:bowling while its a busy nite....nothing like people going to bowl before you while your already on the approach.Its always noisy when it's $1.00 beer nite.....focus and learn to block out the noise.
Sometimes your going to have someone talking at you and trying to get inside your head but its going to be on you if you allow it to get to you.

[yotamonster]

i wear my ipod when im practicing but thats it. it would be rude even though the league im in only has maybe 10 people that are serious about being there. the others are there for the beer. so i get plenty of distractions from screaming drunks. maybe thats why i cant get my mode on during league. be the ball, nanananana.

[blistershurt]

iPod/headphones are just plain rude. Plus if you're rolling against me,it tells me that you CAN be got to. I'm gonna do everything I can just to get you to take one of them things out of your head so I can impart some wisdom about your ball/line/swing. Anything to get to you. Why advertise? I may even get "fast feet" getting on the approach. Something in your peripheral vision. You're advertising,don't bitch if someone else is smart enough to take advantge of it.

Your friends Dad? You don't have any "friends" out there. The Old Man see's you as a threat to HIS kid. He knows you have "ears". In baseball this would be called "dugout chatter". Turn around and point HIS kid out to him. Tell the Dad to worry about his own kid while you wax his ass. If he keeps on yappin' have him tossed under Rule 17b. That'll shut him up.Yeah he's my friend's dad....and my friend is my team mate so really he has no reason to want to mess me up because it hurts our team's chances to get to the tournament at the end of the year (3 weeks and we're fighting for it).

[Rowdy]

I watched "Sport Science" on FSN today. The show was about exactly what we've been talking about here. They compared the ability to score in three different criteria. First was when you're all alone. Second was having an optical stimulus that you couldn't control and third was noise. If you were to roll a 200 by yourself,with optical stimuli you would shoot 160. Add in some noise and the score drops to 140!

Now,I understand that this kid is your friend,but to the Dad it's his SON. Blood is thicker than anything. He doesn't care one bit about you guys going to any tournament. He just wants his kid to beat you. If your team falls short,guess who the Dad will blame it on? Feel something sticking in your back? Trust me,I've been a Little League coach and umpire. I've been a Junior Bowling coach. I've coached and watched my kids play all kinds of sports. 99% of parents should be banned from watching their kids' games.

I have seen parents pull stuff that makes everyone there stop and stare. They have an idea that they are doing something wrong,but since it's their kid,it colors their thinking. Or lack of thinking.

[jackhammer]

Here's something I do... after you throw the ball give yourself 5-10 seconds to praise/rip yourself a new one time. Then forget about it and move on to the next shot. Always be POSITIVE!! I have a friend thats a good bowler and would be a great one if he didn't dwell on every shot.

I coach jr bowlers and one of the worst things is getting the child straightenedout while having fun, then parents getting all over the poor kid. Make an attempt to talk to the person and thank them in some way. But don't let it hurt your game. Remember you need to prove yourself and not everyone else.

someone nailed it...sounds like fast feet to me

[Stampy79]

Blister, 1st of all let me make one thing clear. Dropping your shoulder is the proper way to bowl. This is not the 70's with the keep the shoulders level attitude. If you dont believe me just look at this

http://www.viseinserts.com/


Show me one player on there that has the two shoulders level ! And I think the guys in that picture are somewhat good at this sport. So the next time that dad tells you that, just tell him that Pete Weber drops his shoulder every time ! :rolleyes:

Most Pro Shops have this poster, just walk anyone in there and show them this. The subject will change quickly !

[blistershurt]

I know dropping your shoulder really doesnt negatively effect you...its impossible to lay the ball down if you down drop the shoulder some (...unless you can get less than a 90 degree knee bend)

[Rowdy]

Dropping your shoulder is fine,tilting to the side is not. You still need to get your butt down to the lane for leverage and a more powerful shot.

Hold the ball straight down with your shoulders level. Now let your arm drop down without tilting your upper body. That's all the farther you can "drop". It's not really that far. I have seen guys leaning at a 45 degree angle at release. They wonder why the ball doesn't do anything. I get 'em more upright,with a shoulder drop and their butt down closer to the lane. It's always the same. They look amazed and wonder where all that hook came from.

[blistershurt]

Yeah I'm having problems with getting down lately...weather is going crazy here and I think I have arthritis in my sliding knee. My doctor keeps saying its tendonitis for about 3 years in a row now, but he wont do a MRI on me to confirm or deny that it is arthritis.

I have ALOT of hook on my shot if I slow down just a tad. I like to throw around 18.7 to keep my line small, but that's if I'm feeling good. If I'm feeling bad (the knee) I'll throw 16.7-17.5 and throw with quite a bit of hook. The difference is the height of my backswing.